Saturday, November 20, 2010


I had felt the anticipation,
the hopeful onward motion of awaiting a baby before.
I felt that with you.
I was looking forward, making plans.

Then came the jarring reversal,
the time-stand-still shock when we learned
you would not live long.

All things that mattered so much that morning
were insignificant, heavily secondary.
There was only this sorrow, stasis,

You should have been moving more,
but you started to move less.
You should have been growing,
my stomach rounding out into that third trimester,
but it didn't.
Eventually, all movement ceased.

I wept when you were born.
Here was this little person before me,
my own baby daughter,

I held you,
dressed in white, softly wrapped.
I held your hand.
I kissed your head.
You were quiet.
You were still.

I would like to stand here,
stuck in the dark mud of my sorrow and loss,
never leaving my house.
But, whoever said, "time stood still,"

Days have passed.
The sun has set, and risen.
The weather is turning colder.
The boys are asking about Christmas.
They climb up beside me where I lay,
still, on the bed.
They crawl on me
and ask me questions
and say things that make me laugh.
They are ever moving forward.

We will bury you next week.
I will watch them lower your tiny bed
into the earth.
Tears will move down my face.
Your body will rest, but it will not stay the same.
You are moving on.

I feel, somehow and somewhere
your lively, joyful spirit.
I feel the sorrow, and the stillness,
but I also feel peace,
and God,
and you.

I will move on,
but I will take you with me.
Annie Grace.
You are mine,
and I will love you


  1. So sorry to hear about this. :( I didn't even know you were expecting. You and your family are in my prayers.

  2. That was beautiful, Kelli. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and your family. Much love to you at this difficult time.

  3. your poem was very touching and it brought tears to my eyes. i am so sorry for your loss. you and your family are in my prayers.

  4. Beautiful Kelli. It makes me happy, though, knowing you will have your sweet little Annie someday. Thank-you for sharing. You are loved!

  5. Beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

  6. Kelli that was a beautiful poem, you are a very talented writer. Know that you are in our thoughts and in our prayers. We love you and your little family.

  7. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I love you and your family. Rachel

  8. Oh my. We are so sorry to hear about your sweet Annie grace. You will be in our prayers as well. If there is anything we can do please let us know. We are in ut until after Christmas. What a beautiful poem. You are very talented. God bless

  9. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I will keep you in my prayers.

  10. A great poem - a beautiful remembrance of a perfect little soul. Sending heartfelt sorrow for you and yours. Kisses.

  11. Thank you for the kind responses, thoughts, and prayers. We feel them.

  12. Oh Kelli, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have such a gift. Thank you for sharing... simply, beautiful.

  13. What a beautiful poem. Sorry for the loss of your sweet Annie Grace. You and your cute family are in our thoughts and prayers.

  14. Dearest Kelli,
    I am sorry for you loss. Your poem is beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  15. I just added your blog to my list - I hope that's OK.
    Again, this is a beautiful, artfully written piece on your experience. I loved reading it, even if it made my own tears run.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  16. Sorry I am so behind the times. I want to just say that I love you! Seriously, you are an amazing woman. I can not imagine the emotions and heart ache that this has put you through. I miss you my little Kel.

  17. Kelli, you are a beautiful writer and a beautiful person. I hope you have strength through your sorrows.

  18. Kelli- Wow, you amaze me! That is so beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss and grief. What a beautiful tribute to her. Loves!

  19. More thanks for so many kind and complimentary comments.

  20. Thank you. I just found out today at my 12 week appointment that my baby stopped growing at 7w,3d. So early, but still so much desire and hope. Thank you for helping me to understand my grief. You're poem is lovely.

  21. I am sorry for you, Rochelle. There is nothing quite like the reversal of expectations and the worry. Hang in there.